dumb and dumber

Vulture’s Stupidest Things of Summer: Lots of Little Stupids

With just four weeks left in the summer, the entries on this list can be divided into two camps: aggregate contenders, like Mel Gibson, Jersey Shore, Katy Perry, and Lindsay Lohan, who have committed multiple acts of ass-hattery lo these past months, and single offenders, like the Yogi Bear poster or “Rocket to Uranus,” which are one-off instances of brilliant buffoonery. This week, the aggregate contenders were mostly silent (so silent the Jersey Shore got temporarily booted from the list), but there were plenty of new single offenders, including Justin Bieber’s ProActiv commercial. If not quite brawny enough to shake up the top half of the list, these small stupids radically altered the bottom half. We applaud their efforts and hope, heading into the homestretch, the the bigger stupids take note and start acting up again.

2. Blergh. Mel Gibson.

6. It’s not stupid of ProActiv to hire Justin Bieber as a spokesperson for their acne-fighting products, even though he has never had a pimple. It’s not stupid of Justin Bieber to take ProActiv’s money, even though he has never had a pimple. What is stupid is all of the girls who will buy ProActiv because a person who has never had a pimple — Justin Bieber — tells them to. Also, there’s Bieber’s ProActiv commercial itself, nice and goofy.

4. The Vengaboys’ “Rocket to Uranus.” Up a spot, because Lohan’s been in rehab.

10. Showgirls 2 trailer; Titantic 2 trailer.

6. It’s not stupid of ProActiv to hire Justin Bieber as a spokesperson for their acne-fighting products, even though he has never had a pimple. It’s not stupid of Justin Bieber to take ProActiv’s money, even though he has never had a pimple. What is stupid is all of the girls who will buy ProActiv because a person who has never had a pimple — Justin Bieber — tells them to. Also, there’s Bieber’s ProActiv commercial itself, nice and goofy.

9. Spencer Pratt.

10. Showgirls 2 trailer; Titantic 2 trailer.

1. This lyric off an unreleased Katy Perry track: “Milk, milk, lemonade, around the back’s where chocolate’s made.” Still looks extremely difficult to unseat.

Jersey Shore, obviously a temporary demotion.
• Ke$ha, probably temporary as well.
• Bristol Palin’s acting.
• All wet Thor.
• Eminem’s lyric “Now you get to watch her leave out the window/Guess that’s why they call it window pane.”
Kyrah.
• Chris Brown’s tears.
• Jeremy Piven’s fishy explanation.
Meet the Spartans spoof.
The Last Airbender.
• Parents who hear a toy say the word “pussy” and don’t think of a cat.
Shirtless werewolves.
Jonah Hex.
Les Grossman.
Half-Pint Brawlers.

Next week, with bigger stupids.

Vulture’s Stupidest Things of Summer: Lots of Little Stupids