Vulture

Skip to content, or skip to search.

dumb and dumber

Vulture’s Stupidest Things of Summer: Lots of Little Stupids

With just four weeks left in the summer, the entries on this list can be divided into two camps: aggregate contenders, like Mel Gibson, Jersey Shore, Katy Perry, and Lindsay Lohan, who have committed multiple acts of ass-hattery lo these past months, and single offenders, like the Yogi Bear poster or “Rocket to Uranus,” which are one-off instances of brilliant buffoonery. This week, the aggregate contenders were mostly silent (so silent the Jersey Shore got temporarily booted from the list), but there were plenty of new single offenders, including Justin Bieber’s ProActiv commercial. If not quite brawny enough to shake up the top half of the list, these small stupids radically altered the bottom half. We applaud their efforts and hope, heading into the homestretch, the the bigger stupids take note and start acting up again.

2. Blergh. Mel Gibson.

2. Blergh. Mel Gibson.

6. It’s not stupid of ProActiv to hire Justin Bieber as a spokesperson for their acne-fighting products, even though he has never had a pimple. It’s not stupid of Justin Bieber to take ProActiv’s money, even though he has never had a pimple. What is stupid is all of the girls who will buy ProActiv because a person who has never had a pimple — Justin Bieber — tells them to. Also, there's Bieber’s ProActiv commercial itself, nice and goofy.

4. The Vengaboys' "nice and goofy.

7. Last week, kid-loved phenomenon Fred Figgelhorn — he of the Internet fame, forthcoming Nickelodeon movie, and helium voice — debuted on this list. Joining him this week is another irritating child, in the form of a film critic. We know it’s not nice to be mean to children, so please understand that what we find stupid — by which we mean insanely irritating — about lights, camera, Jackson! the Early Show’s 11-year-old movie reviewer, is the overly animated talking heads he so accurately, uncritically impersonates (see here). Jackson, please use your precocity to imitate less annoying adults. Thank you.

7. Last week, kid-loved phenomenon Fred Figgelhorn — he of the Internet fame, forthcoming Nickelodeon movie, and helium voice — debuted on this list. Joining him this week is another irritating child, in the form of a film critic. We know it’s not nice to be mean to children, so please understand that what we find stupid — by which we mean insanely irritating — about lights, camera, Jackson! the Early Show’s 11-year-old movie reviewer, is the overly animated talking heads he so accurately, uncritically impersonates (see here). Jackson, please use your precocity to imitate less annoying adults. Thank you.

9. Spencer Pratt.

20100714_spencercostume1_560x375.jpg

10. Showgirls 2 trailer; Titantic 2 trailer.

1. This lyric off an unreleased Katy Perry track: “Milk, milk, lemonade, around the back’s where chocolate’s made.” Still looks extremely difficult to unseat.

Jersey Shore, obviously a temporary demotion.
• Ke$ha, probably temporary as well.
• Bristol Palin's acting.
• All wet Thor.
• Eminem's lyric "Now you get to watch her leave out the window/Guess that’s why they call it window pane."
Kyrah.
• Chris Brown's tears.
• Jeremy Piven's fishy explanation.
Meet the Spartans spoof.
The Last Airbender.
• Parents who hear a toy say the word “pussy” and don’t think of a cat.
Shirtless werewolves.
Jonah Hex.
Les Grossman.
Half-Pint Brawlers.

Next week, with bigger stupids.