Coming at you on January 7 — the release date of champions! — is Country Strong, the movie that will put another Gwyneth Paltrow song in karaoke catalogues across the land, right next to "Cruisin'." Paltrow plays Kelly Canter, a semi-disgraced, alcoholic country singer back on the road at the behest of her manager-husband, Ed (played by Tim McGraw, whose weave is so thick, woodland creatures may be hiding in there at this point). She's joined on tour by a younger musician who really understands her, played by Tron's Garrett Hedlund, and a wholesome, up-and-coming country star who reminds her of her younger self and whom she therefore hates, played by Leighton Meester. (Meester's character's idols are "Kelly Canter and Jesus Christ," a jarring thing to hear Blair Waldorf say, given her previously stated opinion on letting "Jesus take the wheel": "That is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice!") Paltrow (looking a whole lot like the aforementioned Carrie Underwood) sings forcefully in front of American flags and chugs bottles of vodka, in a film that wants to be in the grand tradition of Coal Miner's Daughter, but will more likely be an occasion to ask Paltrow what she thinks of celebrity and red states.
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