Last night's Glee premiere (read the recap here) opened with a quick-cutting "documentary," assembled by William McKinley's own muckraking Jacob Ben Israel, about how the glee clubbers spent their summers. Titled "Glee's Big Gay Summer," the documentary was both an expository device (Puck's still pining for Quinn! Tina and Mike Chang 4 eva!) and also a meta commentary on Glee itself, with Ben Israel giving voice to some of the more common complaints about the show. There were four criticisms in particular that made it into into the segment — the four criticisms we assume annoy Glee creator Ryan Murphy most, and thus most need to be addressed, and deflated, directly.
1. David Ben Israel makes a tongue-in-cheek reference to Lea Michele's burgeoning rep as a diva: "Rachel, how do you respond to rumors that you're incredibly difficult?" Rachel responds in a delightfully over-the-top divalike manner.
2. Ben Israel queries Mr. Schuester about the show's song selection: "How do you respond to a recent post on my blog that your glee-club song selections sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod?" Will replies, "Well I try to do something for everybody. 25 percent show tunes, 25 percent hip-hop, 25 percent classic rock " before Ben Israel jumps in with "100 percent gay!"
3) Again speaking to Mr. Schuester, Ben Israel asks, "Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping?" "The kids don't like when I rap?" Will replies. Ben Israel makes a face that speaks for all of us.
4) Chasing Kurt down the hallway, Ben Israel screams, "When will you glee clubbers accept the fact that people hate you and think you're nothing more than a glorified karaoke club designed to make the inventors of Auto-Tune millions of dollars?" It's in response to this one that Murphy gives his full response to all the Glee haters. Kurt, Murphy's preferred mouthpiece, says: "You know, Jacob, it doesn’t take much courage for people to park their cottage-cheese behinds in their Barcaloungers and log on to the Internet and start tearing people down, does it? But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog: Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say to my face!" Mr. Murphy, if you allow set visits, I'm sure a nation of Gleeks would comply.