‘I’m sure I can figure out how a little bit of child abuse is all part of God’s plan.’

One of my favorite sections of The Onion is American Voices, and today’s is especially great. The subject: “According to a study from the UCLA, zero percent of children who were raised by a lesbian couple reported being victims of physical or sexual abuse. What do you think?” One answer: “Give me a second—I’m sure I can figure out how a little bit of child abuse is all part of God’s plan.”

‘I’m sure I can figure out how a little bit of child […]