After having weird, possibly all-in-her-head relations with Mila Kunis in the upcoming Black Swan, Natalie Portman cannot be satiated! She will work her way into the beds of every That 70's Show cast member in the greater Los Angeles area, and her next onscreen conquest is Ashton Kutcher, to judge from the trailer for No Strings Attached. Portman plays a tiny doctor who only wants to hang out with Kutcher in order to sleep with him (believable!), but their casual sexing hits a roadblock when he starts to develop real feelings for her. Careful, Kutcher, or she'll move on to Topher Grace, Danny Masterson, and maybe even Debra Jo Rupp. (Also, this is weird: Kunis has her own pal-boinking comedy coming out with Justin Timberlake called Friends With Benefits, suggesting that Black Swan's cracked-mirror funhouse lives on. Shadow her forever, Mila!)
Most Watched on Vulture
Most Viewed Stories
11,000 People Have Demanded the Met Remove This Painting. They Aren’t Going To. Nor Should They.
Matt Damon Is Sharing All His Bad Opinions on Sexual Misconduct: ‘Well, We Can Work With That’
Let’s Talk About the Ending of Star Wars: The Last Jedi
How The Last Jedi Handles Carrie Fisher’s Death
The 10 Horniest Things in Star Wars: The Last Jedi
In Defense of Hayden Christensen’s Performance in the Star Wars Prequels
The Last Jedi Is the Most Populist Star Wars Movie Yet
What Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s Depiction of Mental Illness Has Meant to Me This Season
Mario Batali’s Apology for Sexual Harassment Contains a Literal Recipe for Disaster
Every Star Wars Movie, Ranked
Latest News from VultureFrankly, Harrison Ford Was ‘F-cking’ Upset That Mark Hamill Didn’t Tell Him Star Wars Spoilers
“Oh my gosh, Dad Vader!”Ed Sheeran to the James Bond Franchise: Please! Use This Theme Song I Wrote!
He’s had the song on tap for three (!) years.Matt Damon Receives the Eloquent Wrath of Alyssa Milano Over His Sexual-Misconduct Opinions
“We are not outraged because someone grabbed our asses in a picture. We are outraged because we were made to feel this was normal.”Maria Menounos Said Bullying in the TV Industry Made Her Health Worse
“I’m sure you guys have not been immune to those tough times.”Bad Santa Director Says Harvey Weinstein Kept Rejecting Mira Sorvino’s Casting
The film’s director is now apologizing to Sorvino for how he handled it.Mario Batali’s Apology for Sexual Harassment Contains a Literal Recipe for Disaster
His apology email includes a cinnamon roll recipe.The Last Jedi’s Best Creatures Are the Judgmental Fish-Nuns
Sorry, porgs.Wow, Who Could’ve Guessed Stephen Colbert’s Hannibal Lecter and Donald Trump Were Cannibal Golfing Buddies
Slurp slurp slurp.How The Last Jedi Handles Carrie Fisher’s Death
One scene in particular plays very differently after the actress’s passing.Did You Catch the Brazil Reference in Star Wars: The Last Jedi?
Bureaucracy calls, even in a galaxy far, far away.
The entertainment industry’s Commission on Sexual Harassment and Advancing Equality in the Workplace will be led by Anita Hill.Nelly Wants To Take Legal Action Against His Accuser After Rape Case Was Dropped
Nelly plans to take legal action against his accuser in an effort to restore his reputation.Morgan Spurlock’s Supersize Me 2 Pulled from YouTube Red and Sundance Film Festival
The fallout came after the documentary filmmaker wrote a lengthy letter on social media detailing his personal history with sexual misconduct.Netflix Is Eyeing George Clooney-Produced Watergate Series
Oscar-nominated Bridge of Spies scribe Matt Charman is writing the eight-episode miniseries.Pete Davidson Wanted To Give Hillary Clinton A Christmas Gift, So He Got A Tattoo of Her
And the former Secretary of State approves of his decision.Wormwood Recap: An Amazing Stroke of Luck
Errol Morris is giving us a lot of tantalizing ideas to chew on.Chance the Rapper Saves the Holidays, Recruits Common and Lena Waithe to Join His Christmas Mixtape
Swoon.Let’s Talk About the Ending of Star Wars: The Last Jedi
The spoilers are strong with this post.Does Spielberg’s The Post Take a Dig at News Outlets Pivoting to Video?
Does Steven have something against autoplay videos?Grab Your Limes, the First Teaser for PBS’s Little Women Mini-Series Is Here
The Masterpiece event arrives in May.