Real talk: What could be a better present, for yourself or someone you love, than Mad Men's Roger Sterling? Like, all wrapped up in a bow, with or without blackface? Alas, there are not enough real, live Roger Sterlings to go around. Luckily, Vulture is giving away two copies of the next best thing: Roger Sterling's memoir, Sterling’s Gold: The Wit and Wisdom of an Ad Man, which Roger could be seen writing this past season of Mad Men and contains such Sterling-isms as "Remember, when God closes a door, he opens a dress." To have one of these books for your very own, please make up your own best Sterling-ism — an epigram, quip, witticism that you could imagine Roger saying — in the comments by 6 p.m. tomorrow, November 16, and we'll pick the two best ones. (No quoting the actual show!) Good luck!