The latest clip from Country Strong, of Gwyneth Paltrow performing the rousing country jam "Shake That Thing" (sample lyrics: "Belly up to the bar / Cuervo PBR / flirting with the bartender/ hey, baby, no charge ... If you've got it/ flaunt it / make the cowboys want it." etc. etc.), has arrived. While it doesn't have a Gwyneth Paltrow drunken spaz-out spectacular, a shirtless Garrett Hedlund, a rousing chorus, or the sweet, sweet musical stylings of Chris Martin, it will do. And when we say "do," we mean, provide a four-minute opportunity to study the entire catalogue of Gwyneth Paltrow's bizarro dance moves. As she demonstrated on Glee, Paltrow is a smooth-moving marionette — so not all that smooth, but very enthusiastic. Wearing a tight, black dress, the dances Paltrow appears to be attempting/pioneering in this clip include, but are not limited to, the "Look at this shirt! Look at this skirt!" jive; the stripper-pole strut; the pool shot (easily mistaken for the universal-gesture-for-intercourse slide); the head toss; the football-player clap; the shoulder-shimmy-ing sashay; the I-can't-really-shake-my-booty rumba; the gawky knee bump; the heel-toe-heel-toe trot; the sexy lasso; the lean back, lean back; the grind up against the old guitarist; and the interpretive-dance version of head-banging. We've made it clear how excited we are for this movie, right?
Most Watched on Vulture
Most Viewed Stories
The 100 Hardest Video-Game Bosses, Ranked
Every Star Trek TV Show, Ranked
Will I Hate Mother!? A Serious Quiz
Let’s Talk About That Scene in Mother!
The Saddest Moment in Lady Gaga’s Netflix Doc Involves Taylor Kinney
HGTV Is a Never-ending Fantasy Loop. Look Deeper, and It Gets Pretty Ugly.
What’s New on Netflix: September 2017
What’s Leaving Netflix: October 2017
James Franco’s The Disaster Artist Is a Great Movie About a Terrible One
How Does the New It Movie Deal With Stephen King’s Orgy Scene?
Latest News from VultureMel Brooks Thinks Blazing Saddles Never Could Have Been Made in Today’s ‘Stupidly Politically Correct’ Climate
“Comedy is the lecherous little elf whispering in the king’s ear, always telling the truth about human behavior.”Seth Meyers Says If You Can’t Connect the Dots When It Comes to Russia, It’s Because They’ve Basically Fused Into One Giant Dot
With North Korea and repealing Obamacare grabbing the limelight, it’s easy to forget there’s an investigation bubbling on the back burner.Theater Review: KPOP Is Gangnam Style With Substance Beneath
Under the glam, it’s a discomfiting looks at the struggles faced by Asian artists.Aaron Carter Is Headed to Rehab
“He is going to do this privately and focus all his attention on being the best person and performer possible.”Watch The Trailer for Adaptation of Stephen King’s Novella 1922
King is going for a seasonal hat trick at the movies.Thanks to Its Stars, Stronger Is Anything But Your Standard Overcoming-the-Odds Tearjerker
Though Gyllenhaal deserves any accolades the film brings him, Maslany’s performance was the one that floored me.Report: Kylie Jenner Pregnant
According to TMZ and “Page Six.”Brace Yourself and Your Sink for the Mother! Opera
Let’s consider the possibilities!The Saddest Moment in Lady Gaga’s Netflix Doc Involves Taylor Kinney
“Well, nothin’ like getting flowers from your ex-fiancé on the day of the Super Bowl.”The 12 Essential 30 Rock Episodes to Watch Before It Leaves Netflix
Tina Fey’s groundbreaking sitcom leaves Netflix on October 1.
Carrey claims sports stars are fans of his work.What 6 Seasons of Gossip Girl Posters Tell Us About the Show
Who could possibly forget that “OMFG” campaign?Wonderful Wonderful Is a Strong Killers Album, But It’s Not a Comeback
The most illuminating songs are the ones that deal with Brandon Flowers’s real-life worries.Every Star Trek TV Show, Ranked
From The Original Series to The Next Generation to Deep Space 9.Anthony Scaramucci Was None Too Pleased When His Doppelgänger Mario Cantone Crashed His Appearance on The View
“He’s my doppelgänger!”You Might Never Get to See That Movie Where Mel Gibson Looks Like a Crazy Professor
If The Professor and the Madman gets destroyed, we may never see the beard as it was intended to be seen.How Jimmy Kimmel Became a Leading Voice in the Health-Care Debate
Here’s a look into how Kimmel found his political voice in the health-care debate.If You Trust a Man Who Wears Scarves, Darren Aronofsky Says Mother! Is a Good Date Movie
He’s giving Carrie Bradshaw–level bad advice.Meghan Markle’s Ex-Husband Is Making a TV Show About a Woman Moving On With a British Prince, Taking Petty to New Levels
If there were a petty Olympics, this would take all the gold.Wu-Tang’s New Song ‘Lesson Learn’d’ Trolls Martin Shkreli, So Here’s Hoping He’ll Learn His Lesson
“My price hikin’ like the pills Martin Shkreli sell.”