SNL’s Simon Rich Has a Terrible Diet

I eat mostly bomb-shelter food. It’s like I’m surviving a nuclear apocalypse that only I’m aware of. My writing partners, Marika Sawyer and John Mulaney, they joke that if I were 10 years old they could call child-protective services to rescue me, but I’m 26, so there’s nothing they can do, because technically I’m a grown-up and I have only myself to blame for living this way.