Adam Yauch’s Sundance short, Fight for Your Right Revisited, asks the question, “What happened after the Beastie Boys left the iconic shindig from the ’(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)’ video?” The answer: They make mischief with a whole lot of celebrities — so many celebrities, in fact, that the 30-minute short plays like an A-list, hip-hop cross between the videos for Moby’s “We Are All Made of Stars” and Weezer’s “Pork and Beans.” Vulture was on the scene last night when Revisited premiered in Park City, and because we are nothing if not service-y, here’s a list of which celebs you can expect in the short (and what they’ll be doing).
Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, and Elijah Wood: Playing Mike D, MCA, and the most adorable Ad-Rock ever, respectively, the trio stumbles out of the party at dawn, then goes on a slow-mo destruction spree, tossing beers at people and breaking into a bodega.
Susan Sarandon and Stanley Tucci: The parents whose absence allowed the party to happen in the first place. A suspicious Sarandon tries to blame the Beasties for the wanton destruction, using pie remnants as proof.
Rashida Jones: The first of the short’s many, many two-second cameos, Jones walks down the street, is come on to by the Beasties, and says, “You wish, turkeys.”
Will Arnett: If you’re still in the throes of Arrested Development withdrawal, enjoy Arnett essentially playing G.O.B. here (expensive suit and indignant “Come on!” included).
Adam Scott: A cabdriver. This is the point in the short where the audience started murmuring the names of the celebrities they recognized, so there was a lot of, “That’s Adam Scott!” (and just as much “Who’s Adam Scott?”).
Rainn Wilson: A churchgoer, he is offended by the Beasties’ post-party antics.
Ted Danson: The maitre d’ of a café that the Beasties terrorize, and between him and Steve Buscemi as the establishment’s waiter, the recipient of most of the audience’s “Hey, I recognize that famous celebrity who is making a two-second cameo” goodwill.
Amy Poehler, Roman Coppola, Shannyn Sossamon, Mary Steenburgen, Alicia Silverstone, Laura Dern, Milo Ventimiglia, and Jody Hill: All patrons of the café, Poehler and Steenburgen are lucky enough to get close-ups, but the rest of the actors were there to add barely glimpsed celebrity flavor.
Jason Schwartzman: Another café patron, dressed as Vincent Van Gogh, for some reason.
Chloë Sevigny, Kirsten Dunst, and Maya Rudolph: This is the point where the short started to weirdly resemble Madonna’s video for “Music,” as the Beasties clamber into town cars with three colorfully wigged metal chicks, who indulge in all manner of illegal activity (drugs, stabbing) with them. All it needed was a Sacha Baron Cohen cameo.
David Cross: Cross reprises his role as Nathaniel Hornblower, the pseudonymous alter ego of director Adam Yauch. Complicated? Perhaps, but you only get three seconds of him anyway.
Orlando Bloom: Credited as “Johnny Ryall,” he would appear to be the character from the Beasties’ track from Paul’s Boutique, except that Orlando Bloom is way too pretty to play a homeless alcoholic.
Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, and Jack Black: Arriving in a Delorean, the three play time-traveling versions of the older Beasties, with a cowbell-striking Ferrell as Ad-Rock, Reilly as Mike D, and Black as MCA (or, as the younger Beasties put it, “The ghosts of License to Ill future”). It isn’t long before the Beasties of both generations get in a dance-off, which culminates in a literal, endless pissing contest.
Adam Horovitz, Mike D, Adam Yauch: Finally, the actual Beasties appear as cops, hauling the faux Beasties away in a paddy wagon driven by Martin Starr. Still, their most significant contribution to the short might be the new, thumping tracks on the soundtrack, including a remix of “Too Many Rappers,” featuring Nas.