Every winter, Variety — Hollywood’s trade mag of record — does boffo biz in “For Your Consideration” ads, the studios’ glossy attempts to convince Oscar voters, Guild members, and Hollywood at large to consider their awards hopefuls at voting time. But as everyone in Hollywood knows, FYCs are only partly about stuffing ballot boxes. They’re also about perception. You might think you’re awards-worthy, but how plausible is your candidacy, anyway? Everything — from the size of your ad, to its placement in the mag, to the specific quotes the studio picks to illuminate your mastery — might tell the real story.
Click through for Vulture’s guide to reading the FYCs the way the biz does.
Related:‘For Your Consideration’ Ads: A Reader’s Guide to 2010 Oscar-Season Variety
The Real Estate: Cover, November 29
The Push: Best Picture
The Target: Every other Best Picture contender
The Text: Those ghastly pictures from the film’s
original, terrible poster
The Translation: Front-runner? We’re so confident we haven’t even bothered to take new photos!
The Real Estate: Full page, December 10
The Push: Best Picture
The Target: Snobs who just can’t think of a Pixar film as a “real movie”
The Text: A still from TS3’s heart-stopping furnace sequence, plus the tagline “Not since Titanic … ”
The Translation: We don’t care if we’re square. We’re still better than everyone else.
The Real Estate: Four-page pull-out cover spread, plus the full back cover, December 10
The Push: Best Animated Feature
The Target: Academy voters who can’t shut up about Toy Story 3
The Text: Big, dramatic stills of sad moments from the movie
The Translation: We’ve got heart, too! And money to burn.
The Real Estate: Inside cover, December 14
The Push: Best Animated Feature
The Target: Anyone who forgot about that movie with the owls
The Text: An owl, flying RIGHT AT YOUR FACE!
The Translation: Vote for us or beware the owly consequences!
The Real Estate: Full page, November 29
The Push: Best Actress
The Target: Anyone who watched any of Halle Berry’s movies since Monster’s Ball
The Text: “Berry shows total commitment to the part, allowing herself to go unhinged … a virtuoso job!”
The Translation: Unlike in Die Another Day, X2, Gothika, Catwoman, X-Men: The Last Stand, Perfect Stranger, and Things We Lost in the Fire, she’s really trying this time!
The Real Estate: Full page, December 6
The Push: Best Actress
The Target: Voters who think Diane Lane has played too many complicated, interesting, sexually adventurous characters
The Text: A huge, beautiful, gauzy photo of a blond-wigged Lane
The Translation: This is as anodyne as she gets, Oscar voters. Seize your chance.
The Real Estate: Quarter page, December 6
The Push: Best Supporting Actress
The Target: Voters who might dare consider not nominating Jacki Weaver
The Text: “Jacki Weaver sets the screen ablaze.”
The Translation: And she will set your house ablaze, too, goddammit.
The Real Estate: One-third page, November 29
The Push: Best Actress
The Target: Anyone who hasn’t gotten to the bottom of their screener pile
The Text: Ebert: “No Oscar voter should dare to nominate for Best Actress without seeing Tilda Swinton in I Am Love.”
The Translation: We know our screener didn’t come in a fancy package like the Fox Searchlight ones. We can’t even afford color for our Variety ad! Please just watch the freaking movie.
The Real Estate: Full page, December 6
The Push: Best Supporting Actress
The Target: The nearly infinite number of Academy voters who have not seen the latest Tyler Perry film
The Text: “I wish all nine actresses could be Oscar-nominated!”
The Translation: If you like giving awards for Most Acting, look no further!
The Real Estate: One-third page, November 22
The Push: Best Actor
The Target: Friends of Michael Douglas
The Text: “Michael Douglas is fully alive.”
The Translation: Michael Douglas is fully alive!
The Real Estate: Two-thirds page, November 22
The Push: Best Actor, Best Actress
The Target: Voters who haven’t seen the movie because they don’t want to slit their wrists afterwards
The Text: A photo of Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling smiling.
The Translation: Look, guys! It’s not so depressing!
The Real Estate: Half-page, November 29
The Push: Best Actor
The Target: Voters who haven’t seen the movie because they don’t want to slit their wrists afterwards
The Text: A photo of Javier Barden not exactly smiling, but not actually weeping or screaming
The Translation: This is the best we could do.
The Real Estate: Quarter-page, December 7
The Push: Ostensibly Best Actor, but really Biggest Mensch
The Target: Ed Harris
The Text: “Opens Friday, December 17 in Los Angeles.”
The Translation: Ed Harris! You gave a wonderful and totally unseen performance in our teensy-weensy movie based on our real-life father. We couldn’t pay you jack, but at least we can buy you a Variety ad and an L.A. opening. You are awesome.
The Real Estate: One-fifth page, December 7
The Push: Best Actor
The Target: Vincent Gallo
The Text: “Never less than stunning.”
The Translation: There is no chance you will ever be nominated, Vincent Gallo, but we are terrified of you, so here are some “For Your Consideration” ads.
The Real Estate: Full page, December 1
The Push: Best Director
The Target: Anyone who thinks Ben Affleck is sort of a meathead
The Text: Affleck literally looking through a camera, plus a New Yorker quote
The Translation: We couldn’t find a photo of him doing that thing where you make your fingers into a square to frame the shot.
The Real Estate: Half-page, December 1
The Push: Best Director
The Target: Youth-loving voters looking for the next great director
The Text: Apple-cheeked Tom Hooper talking to Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth
The Translation: This movie was practically directed by a 14-year-old.
The Real Estate: Inside cover, December 1
The Push: Best Director
The Target: Everyone who hated Hereafter
The Text: A photo of Clint
The Translation: What, you’re gonna not nominate Clint, just because the movie was lousy? He’s Clint!
The Real Estate: Full page, December 9
The Push: Best Director
The Target: Academy voters who badmouth Roman Polanski at parties but secretly voted for The Pianist
The Text: “Winner 6 European Film Awards.”
The Translation: We’re perfectly happy to give him awards in sophisticated Europe. Don’t be so provincial!
The Real Estate: Quarter-page, December 16
The Push: Best Director
The Target: Anyone who still thinks of Mike Leigh as the dyspeptic rabble-rouser of Naked and Life Is Sweet
The Text: An adorable photo of a beaming, white-bearded Leigh
The Translation: Why would you nominate Polanski? Our guy’s basically Santa Claus!
The Real Estate: Half-page in Variety’s special Best Makeup insert, December 15
The Push: Best Makeup
The Target: Voters who think makeup awards are only for movies set in the Renaissance or outer space
The Text: Four photos of star Paul Giamatti at four different ages
The Translation: You wanna talk makeup challenges? We had to make Paul Giamatti look more haggard!
The Real Estate: One-third-page ads on five consecutive pages, December 14.
The Push: Tech categories
The Target: Art directors, editors, sound engineers, and anyone else who might be impressed by Tony Scott’s train movie.
The Text: Quotes from critics about how good the crafts were
The Translation: Hey, something’s gotta lose to Inception in all these categories. Why not us?
The Real Estate: Half-page, December 13
The Push: Best Cinematography
The Target: Legendary cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond (or his agent).
The Text: “FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: Best Cinematography, Vilmos Zsigmond.”
The Translation: I’m Dan Pritzker,
billionaire director of a silent black-and-white passion project about Louis Armstrong. I’ve got enough money to hire Wynton Marsalis to play live jazz accompanying showings of my movie. So I can definitely afford an ad in
Variety thanking an extremely experienced DP who may or may not have basically taught me how to direct a movie.
The Real Estate: Full page, December 15
The Push: Best Original Song
The Target: Hollywood lifers with CD wallets full of Celine and Cher
The Text: A full-page photo of Diane Warren
The Translation: Diane Warren rules Hollywood.