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Taylor Swift Makes a Boring Breakup Video Featuring Magic Snow

If you would be so kind as to refer back to Vulture's "Official Guide to Who Every Song on the Taylor Swift Album Is About," you'd see that “Back to December” — the big, weepy breakup ballad that has just gotten the music-video treatment — most likely delves into the steamy love Swift shared all too briefly with major motion picture star and martial arts expert Taylor Lautner. So why does the guy in the video look like a French hipster who wouldn't know a roundhouse kick if it hit him in the face? We come to you, Taylor Swift, so that you may overexpose the romantic relationships with famous people you somehow manage to constantly be involved in — not for polite, tedious treatments of those same romantic relationships! Seriously, this is terrible: Swift spends the entire video inside a house with magic indoor snow while wimpy French hipster walks around kicking the ground. In her defense, why does this video even need to exist? It's ostensibly a promotional tool, but Swift has already made nearly every consumer in the country pony up for Speak Now. Will forlorn stares out of a window convince anyone who hasn't already given her money to do so? (Now, if Taylor Lautner were actually in the video … ) Anyway, song's still a jam.