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Charlie Sheen on Fixing Two and a Half Men, Parenting, and Being Called Crazy

TMZ was with Charlie Sheen in his backyard today, where he talked about everything, once again. We also got a glimpse of two guys who apparently live in Sheen's house and hang out in his backyard, and they thanked Sheen for being such a good friend. His porn star girlfriend, whom he calls one of his goddesses, also got a minute of camera time and she shouted out: "Hi, mom! Hi, dad!" Anyway, here's more from the ongoing saga of Charlie Sheen:

On the future of Two and a Half Men: "Chuck Lorre, I give him credit for making the show. I don't give him any credit for making it go away because of ego, emotions ... If a couple of adjustments could be made, maybe Chuck and I would work together, but let's figure it out in a creative environment, not in a legal environment ... Chuck hasn't called me, it's not cool. Let's talk man to man, explain yourself, explain why you're making these rash dictatorial decisions without confirming with your star ... My show drifted into the rose garden and wilted. Rose garden and wilted, that's good. I just come up with this stuff ... Whatever part I had in [the show going dark for the season] I sincerely apologize for. Whatever I can fix, i guarantee I will. "

On being crazy: "Now they're saying I'm 'crazy' because I'm passionate and I speak the truth. My inner voice is never wrong. Every time I go against it, I lose. And people just came at it with judgment: 'I cant have it, so I must criticize it. He's a winner, I'm a loser. He was right.' Sorry, but it's a true statement. They must judge, because they can't process it. Are you guys starting to get the 'winning' concept?"

On his kids: "They're in [the house] somewhere ... they're running into walls, but they're screaming 'Dada' while they're doing it ... I hope my kids read about this. They'll say, 'Dad, fill in the blanks. This shit's gnarly. This stuff's epic.' They're going to be a little bit different. They're already different. They're my kids, duh."

On drugs: "It's not one size fits all ... Ambien is a bad drug ... there's no victory with cocaine."

On his dad: "I respectfully allow him to maintain his opinions, but they're the gibberish of fools. He's my dad, and that's pretty bitching. No disrespect, but I'm 45 years old."

The second where he indicated he might be joking: "Not all of this is totally serious. There's a reason I've had mad success in comedy."

Meanwhile, a GQ profile of Sheen went online today, and Sean Penn weighed in on his friend: "When you divorce the moral judgments, which I prefer to do, I see a guy who has a clearer view of the nature of the world around him than is sometimes comfortable to have. Those are the sort of people who have a tendency to find altered states. But he's a very ironic character. He's got pretension in the crosshairs of his wit. I think to a large degree he's saying, 'Guys, we're only going to be here once, so lighten the fuck up.'"