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charlie sheen

Charlie Sheen Congratulates Self, Gives Advice to Lindsay Lohan

Charlie Sheen called in to "The Dan Patrick Show" again this morning (clearly, he is modeling his off-the-wagon behavior on too-frequent "Howard Stern" guest David Arquette), and the Two and a Half Men star was in the mood to self-congratulate. "Never been drunk, never been high on the set once," he said, adding, "But would show up having not slept much, [or be] doing a network run-through and asking the director Jamie Widdoes — huge shout-out, best guy alive — to move my mark a little bit just so I could be next to a piece of furniture or a table, so I wouldn't fall over. But Dan, that is an expert move by a seasoned professional, I'm sorry! An amateur stays on his mark and then falls over during the run-through." He even had a positive spin on the recent Chuck Lorre vanity card that used him as a punch line: "I took it as a huge compliment. He basically wrote a brilliant little piece of literature and called me Superman." But Sheen's realest real talk was for Lindsay Lohan, whom he pleaded with Patrick to book, promising that he would call in with advice for her. "Work on your impulse control," he offered to Lohan. "Just try to think things through a little bit before you do them." [TMZ]