I am bravery. I am courage. I am valor. I am daring. I am holding a thesaurus.I am the sun. I am the moon. I am the rain, I am the earth. I am these when I am taking mushrooms with Kevin. I am good friends with Kevin. I am not sure what Kevin’s last name is.I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there’s nothing you can do about it.
In the latest issue of the New Yorker, Demetri Martin contributes a piece called “Who Am I?” to Shouts and Murmurs. A taste:
I’m pretty sure this isn’t from his upcoming book (This Is a Book), but I am also not completely sure, so don’t hold me to it. Nevermind, it is indeed from This Is a Book. Shows what I know.