Last night's Grammys have, believe it or not, pissed a lot of people off, for a variety of hilarious reasons. But who is angriest? Vulture ranks this morning's vitriol, from least to most hatred espoused.
5. People Who Prefer Willow Smith to Jaden Smith
His pants were questionable, and the cutaways to his parents were a bit cheesy, but fans' biggest problem with Jaden Smith seemed to be that he is not Willow Smith. Critique No. 2: Jaden Smith is not Justin Bieber. (Note: No one seemed to know the correct spelling of Jaden's name.) Otherwise, the fans were generally pretty kind about his performance (though not about his post-puberty prospects, poor kid).
4. Protein Enthusiasts
Along with our own Cut blog, who expressed disappointment with the "Tupperware" aspect of Gaga's red-carpet vessel, the Twittering Gaga masses hoped for a little more in the way of glamour. Still, she's Lady Gaga: No one was exactly shocked by her weirdness. Instead, we got a lot of meat dress and protein jokes, plus some skepticism that Gaga was even inside the plastic. Oh, and of course, some Tupac wisdom. Save the eggs for the children, Gaga.
3. Justin Bieber Maniacs
Lesser-known Esperanza Spalding beat out Justin Bieber for the Best New Artist Grammy and, considering the hatred generally spewed toward Bieber's rumored love interests, you'd think the legit rival would have been barricaded in a horrible dank basement by now. Instead, the Beliebers just went after her Wikipedia page. But, hey, Esperanza — might still be a good idea to lay low for a few weeks, just in case?
2. People Who Had Never Heard of Arcade Fire Before
The brand-new Tumblr Who Is Arcade Fire?!!!, dedicated solely to Arcade Fire–related Grammy outrage, is crucial. Representative tweet, from user LEO_187: "Fuck the fucking grammys!!! I cant see wat im typing but fuck those mother fuckers!!! Arcade fire?!! Who the fuck arfe they? I dnt know ..." Also piling on here: Radiohead? Announcing your new, secret album the morning after the ceremony takes some wind out of Arcade Fire's Grammy-winning sails. Very possible, however, that Radiohead scheduled the announcement for today safely assuming that an act not generally considered a direct competitor would win.
1. People Upset That Vulture Pointed Out Christina Aguilera Falling
Last night, in a bit of attempted levity, Vulture noted that Christina Aguilera fell down at the end of the Aretha Franklin tribute. The Internet reacted strongly, rushing to the defense of Aguilera and her sterling performance and taking pains to bash us by name along the way. By the way, if you don't know what we're talking about, here's the fall again: