Previously on Glee: Gwyneth Paltrow sang "Forget You," and we saw that it was good. Next week, she makes her second appearance on the show as cool substitute teacher Holly Holiday, and in addition to singing "Kiss" and "Landslide" she sings Joan Jett's cover version of Gary Glitter's "Do You Want to Touch Me? (Oh Yeah)," which you can now watch. As is usually the case with sequels (Superman II and The Empire Strikes Back notwithstanding), the follow-up rarely matches the original. It's not that Paltrow's performance of "Do You Want to Touch Me" is bad or she's not giving it her all — seriously, if you count facial expressions and open-shirt thrusts, it's clear she remains extremely dedicated to the job at hand — just that it feels more calculated. There's a bit of an aggressive "you all liked this so much last time, then. let's. do. it. again!" vibe to the performance, and less of the genuinely surprising, goofy good vibes of the first. All that said, her "Forget You" set a high bar, and this isn't a dud. Look, she's running around in a leather jacket, doing dances on a chair, making silly faces while pushing a wheelchair. Joan Jett may not appreciate the homage, but at least Paltrow's not shilling $5,000 organic baby pajamas. Besides, our hopes for her appearance remain high, because the absolute best thing about this clip is the kicker: After the song ends, Paltrow tells the kids they always have to practice safe sex, because when you sleep with someone, you're also sleeping with everyone they've ever slept with and, as she puts it with her "hey girlfriend!" delivery, "everybody's got a random."
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