Jason Alexander Says He’ll Fall On His Sword, Become Charlie Sheen

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Sometimes there’s a man. In order to give the masses what they want, Jason Alexander has agreed to become Charlie Sheen. In a proposition posted to Twitter, Alexander says he will “merely assume the unfinished contract of Mr. Sheen, himself,” a role for which he will gladly “commence using cocaine,” “fornicate with as many adult film actresses as I can afford,” and commit assaults in four and five star hotels.”  Alexander adds, “I do this, not for my own joy, but for the benefit of the millions of people who …STILL DON’T SEEM TO HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF FUCKING CHARLIE SHEEN!” Some say there’s a man. I won’t say a hero…