Reports are emerging from Charlie Sheen’s first performances of his Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour — and predictably, it does not look good. Firsthand accounts from Saturday’s tour kickoff in Detroit saw disappointed fans booing and leaving before the show was even over. The show was so poorly received, Sheen ended it twenty minutes early.
Still, fans seemed to want to like it: After all, there were girl-on-girl makeouts (two of Sheen’s “goddesses”); countless violent clips from Sheen’s movies, including Platoon and Apocalypse Now; and obsessively weird diatribes. Many were enthralled by his “warlock” speech, in which he claimed “I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”
And yet! The violent torpedo seemed more like a crappy train wreck: rambling, disjointed, self-aggrandizing, and wickedly unfunny. Fans began leaving by the rowful, and Sheen, always one to make friends, reportedly told the crowd, “I already got your money, dude!” Just nineteen more shows to go!
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