Cougar Town Recap: Help Me Help You

Photo: Michael Ansell/? 2010 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Photo: Michael Ansell/? 2010 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

The second episode of Cougar Town this week was all about self-knowledge, and how various members of the Cul de Sac Crew don’t have it. Jules and Ellie get into a spat because Jules thinks it’s harder to have a baby when you’re poor, in your twenties, and your husband is Bobby Cobb (i.e., absent, space cadet-ish, cheating, etc.), and Ellie thinks it’s harder to have a baby in your forties, with a nanny and a loving husband, because you’re tired and know what you’re giving up. Rather than just agreeing to disagree, Ellie dumps baby Stan, he of the wolverine claws, uncanny ability to break out of baby prison, and petlike taste for treats, with Jules and Greyson for the day. It’s exhausting hard work, and Jules decides that Ellie is right, it is harder to be a mom in your forties; she’s so relieved not to have a baby herself, just in time for it to become totally clear that Greyson, who has actually been sort of adorably doting on Stan all episode, does want kids. Having gotten Jules and Greyson together early on, Cougar Town has been remarkably restrained in not throwing around stupid reasons for them to break up. And lo, here comes a not-stupid reason for them to break up.

Meanwhile, Laurie decides she needs to get back to having one-night stands and wrangles Andy to be her wingman. They go to the wine bar with magical acoustics, which, conveniently, sits on the plaza that occasionally and magically turns into a raucous nightclub. (Props to writers for so unabashedly helping save costs; they’ll use the sets they have, thank you very much.) But once there, Laurie doesn’t have any fun: Andy points out that now that she’s been in love with Smith, casual sex isn’t going to fulfill her anymore. Laurie takes this in, but then, at the coffee shop later that night, strikes up a conversation with a cute dude who also doesn’t like going out anymore. They end up going home together. Laurie’s back! And all she had to do was have sex with a guy whose hair is styled with … a rat tail.

Over in the C-story, Bobby can play for free at a great golf course if he gets there by 6 a.m., but despite canny usage of his alarm clock, barbecue sauce, and dog Travis, he cannot make it there on time. Travis, who apparently humps inanimate objects in his sleep, offers to help, but Bobby says this is something he’s gotta do himself. Bobby! You can’t do things yourself! So Travis ends up waking up his dad, and the two fall asleep while driving a golf cart, like any loving father-son duo would.

And now, for this episode’s additions to the Cougar Town lexicon:

Pound Grape: drinking wine

Chuck It and Re-Chuck It: an incorrect way of saying “hit it and quit it”

Jury Duty Drunk: especially drunk

Motherhood: something, according to Jules, women have been doing for hundreds of years

Shiraz Me: pour me a drink

Baby Busey: Stan

Little Wolverine: Stan

Walk of Awesome: walk of shame, according to Laurie

“I Was Right” Steak: A steak you mime eating while telling people, “I was right.”

We Can Really Do This Bowl: A bowl you mime eating while telling people, “We can really do this.”

Cougar Town Recap: Help Me Help You