Dating Advice From The Onion: ‘Men Love Blowing Their Load Into a Confident Woman’


We’ve all been there: you and a guy are bringing each other to screaming orgasm, but for whatever reason you just can’t seem to catch his eye. Argh! Dating! Luckily The Onion’s “How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You’re Having Sex With Him” video has some great tips for how to get your crush to pick up on your interest when he’s slowly, or quickly, sliding inside you. “Don’t just bounce around on his penis hoping he’s going to compliment your new earrings,” warns dating guru Rebeccah Rachel. “Tell him a funny joke as you take off your bra.” Truth. Thank god I’ve been stockpiling funky scarves, kicky boots, shiny necklaces, cool hats, chunky earrings and cute bags for years. For my entire life.