Final Destination 5 Trailer: Ouch. Yikes. Eeeek.

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Several things that are not final, despite explicitly promising to be: Fantasies, Countdowns, and Destinations. And so it is that we have Final Destination 5, which has reneged both on the thrust of its title and the ridiculous way it was originally supposed to be spelled: 5nal Destination. (Thanks for nothing, Scre4m.) Still, though the movie wimped out just shy of new advances in number/letter title-grafting, it has clearly upped the ante when it comes to body panic and over-the-top 3-D set pieces, as seen in this new trailer. It's like a campier, cartoonish Saw, and after watching this clip, you'll never want to go to the optometrist again. (Admittedly, you should probably avoid optometrists who equip their offices with a deadly laser stolen from a James Bond movie, just as a general rule.)

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