Vulture

Skip to content, or skip to search.

movies

John Carter No Longer Of Mars

Disney's upcoming John Carter of Mars will simply be known as John Carter, perhaps to distance the film from the totally unrelated flop Mars Needs Mom or perhaps to confuse and utterly disappoint ER fans. It's not that John Carter! This John Carter, né of Mars, is a Civil War veteran who finds himself embroiled in a Martian war between giant aliens and their humanoid enemies; Taylor Kitsch plays the titular hero, and the film marks Pixar's Andrew Stanton's first live-action movie. So, fine, this John Carter travels through space in a loin cloth, but did he ever piss off Dr. Benton? And find himself unlucky in love? And rich, but sad? And did he then go to Africa? And then come back? And was still rich, but now even sadder kind of? Hmmm? [Coming Soon]