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summer movies 2011

How Vulnerable Are Superheroes’ Crotches? A Vulture Investigation

This summer's wave of superheroes — Thor, Captain America, Green Lantern, and the First Class X-Men — will all be sporting the crime-fighting fashion of choice: tight outfits made of leather or spandex, cape optional. While flashy and brandable, these costumes also have a practical purpose: Their tight fits allow freer movements and better intimidation through flexed biceps. And yet, there is one very impractical downside to this tradition: flimsy to nonexistent groin protection. And evil has no better ally than a wide-open crotch! So, in order to aid the fight against tyranny and corruption, Vulture has analyzed the suits and accessories of movie heroes past, present, and future to scour for weaknesses and provide practical tips on girding superhuman loins. The secrets of Superhero Junk Protection await the worthy.