This is happening, everyone! Strap in! Last month, Gwyneth Paltrow revealed to Jay-Z that she knew all the words to "Straight Out of Compton," and like a loaded gun revealed in the first act, it went off this past week on The Graham Norton Show, where Gwyn performed the N.W.A.'s "Gangsta Gangsta" live. In fact, things only got weirder from there, as she was then joined by Lady Gaga, who was dressed like a tribal bride who'd just left King Kong's honeymoon suite. Here are all the highlights.
In Video No. 1 (Above):
0:17: A dazzling first look at Gwyneth Paltrow's shiny legs (a talk-show staple!) comes just as Gwyn uses her first British word, "peckish."
0:35: "I made a vegetarian paella!"
1:04: Gwyneth invites guest Jason Byrne to touch her ass.
1:20: Fellow guest Geoffrey Rush is apparently alive: He just spoke!
4:07: Norton calls out Gwyneth on how her crazy cooking anecdote about duck fat, swimming pools, and gifted rotisseries is so relatable. To her credit, Gwyneth totally laughs.
6:22: This is where the magic happens. The rap. The rap happens. The magic happens. The magical rap, happening.
7:15: It doesn't matter, you're already rewinding.
8:00: Gaga enters, glances at the paella, and says, "I had no idea there would be cuisine."
In Video No. 2 (Above):
2:54: Gwyneth begins to talk about her topless scene in Shakespeare in Love, but she treats it as though it's a movie and scene that the audience has never laid eyes on, and Gaga calls her out on it. "Oh, that scene? You mean, that really famous scene?" Also, we still enjoy hearing Gwyneth's closing punch line to this anecdote.
4:55: Gaga says sagely, "If you take your clothes off, you'd be surprised how many jobs you'll get."
5:55: Gaga, funny!
7:07: Gwyneth tells a wardrobe-malfunction story that somehow ends with Gaga recommending that she smear paint on her crotch.
8:10: Gaga and Gwyneth discuss the C-word. Gwyneth, who recently used it on Chelsea Handler's show, launches into a regional defense, blaming her adopted country's lax language restrictions. "When you live in England ... " Perfect.
It's the Gwynnie & GaGa Show! [PopWrap/NYP]