During Conan’s Dartmouth commencement address, O’Brien wished the new graduates well in their new jobs at Panera Bread or with a Mexican drug cartel. And with that in mind, he offered them some advice on their inevitable failures. “Disappointment stings, and for driven people like you it’s disorienting,” Conan said, later advising, “Whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.” As for those Philosophy and Fine Arts majors, well, “the only place they’re going to get a job is ancient Greece.” Sure, but think of all those hot, fresh bread bowls they probably get to eat!
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