The video for Coldplay's "Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall," the explicably plagiarized single off their as-yet-unnamed, still-unreleased fifth album, has arrived. It is for children. In fact, we could not imagine a better platform for this video, basically one long stop-motion finger-painting session, than Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. We can just see them, Chris Martin and Mr. Rogers, sitting down, both shoeless and wearing accidentally matching cardigans. Martin hesitatingly, and then — under Mr. Rogers's benevolent eye — excitedly explains all the joy this video is meant to convey. Sadly, without Mr. Rogers on hand (R.I.P.), we have to consume Martin more directly: Here he is wearing a pink shirt and hitting his chest like that's a dance move, while brightly colored, hand-painted words and hearts and music notes and splotches and splashes appear on the walls. (Sadly, there are no unicorns.) In the middle of the video, the lights go out, the paint turns glow in the dark, and suddenly the band is strumming around in a rave, but a rave of feelings, obviously. Your 5-year-old will be rocking out to this so hard.