Planet Earth Doesn’t Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave

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From today’s Onion: “‘I know your species has developed the technology to leave me, I’ve seen you use it before, so I’m asking you now, please, just take the hint already,’ read another excerpt from the Earth’s statement, which added that it would really be best for all concerned if humanity were to ‘trundle off to some other biosphere for a while.’ ‘You can’t possibly be enjoying this, can you? Honestly, you would have to be completely deranged or masochistic to continue staying here.’”