The Office: A XXX Parody is by far the finest porn parody I’ve seen to date, and that’s saying something, since by this point I’ve watched two full porn parodies. First of all, it stars James Deen as “Jimmy” (previously “Dennis” in the 30 Rock porn parody), so you know I’m already on board. Second of all, the name of the office is Dinder Muffin, which is nothing short of a stroke of idiotic genius. Third of all, it concludes with a scene in which “Michelle” (Michael) and “Holly” tag-team “Toby.” If that’s not a recipe for a great porn parody, I don’t know what is.
The Office porn parody begins with an excellent parody of The Office intro, except for the fact that Michelle’s mug reads “World’s Bust Boss” instead of “World’s Best Bust,” a seemingly glaring oversight by the props department (one dude named Mitch, probably). Is she supposed to be the boss of all the world’s busts? I just can’t get behind that logic, sorry Mitch.
From the intro we jump straight into the workplace, where Michelle (Ashlynn Brooke, previously “Jenna Maroney”) tells the documentary film crew that in the workplace she’s all about the “3 F’s – fun, funny and interoffice fucking.” Not sure if the fact that “interoffice fucking” starts with an “i” is another oversight or an excellent Michael Scott joke. I’ll presume the latter; it’s early.
From there James Deen, my hero, leads us right into the first sex scene by approaching receptionist “Sam” with both a fantastic Jim Halpert impression and the line “Why don’t you come play with my hard drive?” What follows is, as I have come to expect, a great scene. I especially like when James Deen is so eager to bone that he’s at one point having sex in a full suit with just his penis out. Well, out and in a woman’s vagina, of course. They also make good use of the voyeurism of The Office, as part of the scene is shot from outside the break room looking in through the blinds. An impressively artistic way to film two people raw-dogging (Roger Ebert’s words, not mine). It also ends with Jimmy looking to camera and shrugging, which in this context was goddamned hilarious.
In the brief scene that follows, Michelle delivers her first inappropriate “that’s what she said,” which surprising took us 26 minutes to get to, instead of the assumed immediately. Michelle is then taken aside by regional boss “Jen” (Jan), who attempts to discipline her but instead ends up touching her vagina a lot. Also “Jen” has, no joke, half inch long nipples. I hated them so so so much. However, it was all worth it for the final exchange, in which this happened:
Michelle: (out of breath) That was so good.
Jen: (looking up, noticing camera) That’s what she said.
Cue a million people applauding with joy. Or at least one.
Next we learn the plot! Two sex scenes in, take that 30 Rock parody. Michelle has to teach the staff about sexual harassment. But first!: “Angela” seduces “Dwayne” (Dwight) in the breakroom by saying “heck heck heck,” which is presented as a catchphrase but as far as I know isn’t? So that was kinda weird. Nevertheless, this scene was pretty good, and not just because I was impressed by Dwayne’s grower. As far as humor goes, at one point porn Angela says “taste my pussycat,” which is a fantastic thing for porn Angela to say. But my favorite thing about this scene is that Codi Carmichael (Angela) expresses her pleasure by stating, quite matter-of-factly, “Yes,” over and over. “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.” Just patiently acknowledging that someone is having sex with her.
Michelle then gathers the team into the conference room for a presentation to demonstrate the negative effects of sexual harassment. What follows is a super weird scene where a random stripper named Candy (who Michelle hired?) ends up having dom-y sex with “Meredith” on a desk in front of everyone. I can’t tell if I loved this scene or hated it. What I DEFINITELY loved was immediately afterwards, where they cut to a confessional with a Toby lookalike who deadpans the line “Did Michelle just hold an HR meeting without me? (beat) The HR department?”
Then there’s a sex scene with absolutely no context where “Kevin” (played by an actor who isn’t bald) and “Oswald” (played by an actor who isn’t Spanish) have a three-way with “Kylie” (played by an actress who isn’t Indian). Identifying these people took me way longer than it should have. The scene was okay, although really? You have a white guy in a three-way with Kelly and make him Oscar instead of Ryan? Oscar’s gay! Come on, Mitch (different Mitch).
And this brings us to the final scene. The piece de resistance, if you will. Toby and Holly come to talk to Michelle about the stripper incident.
Toby: [Michelle, that presentation] was degrading.
Michelle: (to camera) De-GREATEST.
Toby: You’re looking at a huge lawsuit.
Michelle: (somehow even more to camera) That’s what she said.
Then Holly and Michelle tag-team Toby because he’s “too uptight” and they want to “show [him] what sexual harassment is all about.” This scene is pretty great, mostly due to Alexis Texas (Holly) and Ashlynn Brooke. Toby’s just kind of there, which is a great and definitely intentional commentary on the character of Toby. The end.
The Office porn parody was pretty solid as both a parody and a porn. While they had some difficulty with casting, and the impressions weren’t as solid as the 30 Rock parody, there were some solid moments throughout. They even dedicated an entire valuable minute to a bit between Jimmy and Dwayne that has nothing to do with the plot. That’s solid parody work right there. And you can hardly argue with the one-two punch of James Deen followed by back-to-back three-ways. Definitely a Mitch idea right there. Miiiiitch. Love those guys (all three of them).
Sarah Schneider has written for Saturday Night Live and CollegeHumor. She enjoys comedy and porn, not necessarily in that order (in that order).
