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The 12 Fighting Techniques of Big Brother Contestants

It's hot out … there's nothing much on TV … America's bartenders are vanishing … the cheesy-prop industry is suddenly doing great business in Los Angeles? These can only be signs of one thing: It's time for yet another season of Big Brother! The thirteenth season premieres tonight at nine on CBS, and Julie Chen will undoubtedly lead it off with her annual warning to expect the unexpected. However, there is one inevitability that even she would expect: There will be constant irrational shouting matches over matters strategic, personal, and trivial. At this point, it's become an art form for the headache-inducing narcissexuals contestants — a loud, shrieking, irrational art form. And if one is to survive in the house (or survive watching the show), you need to be able to tolerate and mimic the many modes of verbal throwdowns that erupt on an hourly basis. Here, our guide to the dozen unstoppable fighting techniques of Big Brother. (Warning: As many of these clips are from uncensored live feeds, the audio is NSFW. Rule 13: Swear early and often.)