Jeffrey Eugenides was punched in the face last week when he tried to stop a pair of drunk New Jersey–bound train passengers from singing a song about their penises, according to "Page Six." Apparently Eugenides stepped after the duo refused another passenger's request to quiet down by instead calling a friend to share their masterpiece. Eugenides "grabbed the cellphone and got socked." Though his assailant fled, the story of the time Jeffrey Eugenides got punched by someone singing a penis song will live on. This is why we need quiet cars, people. [Page Six/NYP]
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