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This Is How Charlie Sheen Dies on Two and a Half Men

In better times.

How do you kill off your sitcom's beloved lead character in a way that still allows for laughter? We still don't know, but here's how Two and a Half Men is doing it: TMZ reports that at the season-premiere taping that went down this weekend, stalker Rose (Melanie Lynskey) confesses that she married Charlie Sheen's character in Paris, then pushed him in front of a subway train — resulting in a "meat explosion" — when she caught him flirting with another woman. For his part, Sheen doesn't seem to mind the gruesome end, since he issued a statement to TMZ saying, "I have always been told that I have 9 lives, so it is going to be amazing to witness my own funeral which is clearly a win/win situation because Ashton has just given me a 10th." Dying is easy, comedy is hard? [TMZ]

Photo: CBS