Updated: After bailing out on a show in Dallas this weekend (an incident originally elaborated on below), Kings of Leon have now gone and canceled their whole tour. The statement from a rep: "We are so sorry to say Kings of Leon are canceling their entire US tour due to Caleb Followill suffering from vocal issues and exhaustion. The band is devastated, but in order to give their fans the shows they deserve, they need to take this break. Unfortunately, the US dates cannot be rescheduled due to the band's international tour schedule." Well, Kings of Leon just got 15% more interesting.
Kings of Leon cut short their show in Dallas on Friday because front man Caleb Followill was feeling a tad warm. He explained from the stage, "I'm gonna go backstage for a second. I'm gonna vomit. I'm gonna drink some beer ... and for the record, I'm not drunk ... I'm about to fall down here because I'm so goddamn hot. ... I'm gonna come back out here and I'm gonna play three more songs," but never actually returned; the next day, a show in Houston was postponed, with the explanation being that Followill "suffered from heat exhaustion and dehydration during Friday night’s Dallas performance, causing his vocal chords [sic] to seize." This is a perfectly reasonable explanation for most bands, yes: It probably was really, really hot in Texas this weekend. But, Vulture asks again: Aren't Kings of Leon supposed to be rock stars?
Along with heat exhaustion, the list of non-rock-star-appropriate reasons for which Kings of Leon have canceled shows now includes: workout-related arm injuries, non-lethal fires, and pigeon poop. Do you know how much heat, fire, pain, and pigeon poop it would take to get Axl Rose to cancel a show?! (Yes, Axl Rose cancels shows all the time, but he does so for no reason and then people riot. Much more rock-star-y).
Later in the weekend, bassist Jared Followill texted the following: "Dallas, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. There are internal sicknesses & problems that have needed to be addressed. No words ... I love our fans so much. I know you guys aren't stupid. I can't lie. There are problems in our band bigger than not drinking enough Gatorade." But can we really believe Jared? Or is he aware of KoL's dastardly reputation and is now coming up with some fake, awesome-sounding internal dissension to avert attention away from the facts? Either way, his older brother Caleb is going to beat his ass for this.