Comedian Spike Milligan Solves Ancient Hospital Gown Conundrum

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Many have tried and failed to sort out the matter of too-long or -short dressing gowns. Great minds have disintegrated in the slippery confusion of this issue, grown men driven mad by the impossibility of covering everyone’s knees without making them trip over excess fabric! Only an absolute genius could come up with the sole viable solution (it involves dwarves). Luckily, there was a genius comedian around in 1971 named Spike Milligan, and his correspondance on the issue has been uncovered here.