Last night, it was as if a plague had swept the Upper East Side, one whose symptoms were uniquely tailored to their hosts. Nearly everyone on Gossip Girl was suffering: Blair was the pregnantest pregnant person ever, full of bile and puke and inconvenient emotions. She wants badly to be a princess, but the determination of the creature inside of her to make trouble is an almost certain indication of who its father is (and it's not "mild-mannered" Louis, even if he is "surprisingly virile."). Meanwhile, Chuck was experiencing acute female hysteria, Dan was lovelorn as ever, and Nate had an itch that only a cougar could scratch. And then there was Serena, who as always, was suffering from chronic stupidity.
Despite our reservations about the pregnancy plotline and Chuck's West Side Story–looking fight scenes, hilariously subversive name-dropping of Lloyd Blankfein and promisingly absurd scenarios involving Nate and the princess of Monaco cheered us and brought this episode over to the the Real side. As always, put your points, thoughts, hopes, and dreams about marrying a prince in the comments.