Gossip Girl Recap: I’d Hoped Denial Would Last Longer As a Coping Mechanism

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"Beauty and The Feast"-- Pictured (L-R) Blake Lively as Serena Van Der Woodsen and Kaylee DeFer as Charlie Rhodes in Gossip Girl on The CW. Photo Credit: MICHAEL DESMOND  / The CW © 2011 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
"Beauty and The Feast"-- Pictured (L-R) Blake Lively as Serena Van Der Woodsen and Kaylee DeFer as Charlie Rhodes in Gossip Girl on The CW. Photo Credit: MICHAEL DESMOND / The CW © 2011 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Photo: MICHAEL DESMOND PHOTOGRAPHY/©2011 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved
Episode Title
Beauty and the Feast
Season
5
Episode
2

Last night, it was as if a plague had swept the Upper East Side, one whose symptoms were uniquely tailored to their hosts. Nearly everyone on Gossip Girl was suffering: Blair was the pregnantest pregnant person ever, full of bile and puke and inconvenient emotions. She wants badly to be a princess, but the determination of the creature inside of her to make trouble is an almost certain indication of who its father is (and it's not "mild-mannered" Louis, even if he is "surprisingly virile."). Meanwhile, Chuck was experiencing acute female hysteria, Dan was lovelorn as ever, and Nate had an itch that only a cougar could scratch. And then there was Serena, who as always, was suffering from chronic stupidity.

Despite our reservations about the pregnancy plotline and Chuck's West Side Story–looking fight scenes, hilariously subversive name-dropping of Lloyd Blankfein and promisingly absurd scenarios involving Nate and the princess of Monaco cheered us and brought this episode over to the the Real side. As always, put your points, thoughts, hopes, and dreams about marrying a prince in the comments.