Two and a half hours! Tonight’s X Factor is LIVE and it is two and one half hours long, like some kind of big-budget charity dance-a-thon. It will indeed be an endurance test, but here’s my ace in the hole: I am on an airplane (Virgin America, for whom I am not a paid spokesperson, but from whom I will listen to an offer). I am in many ways an actual captive audience. Also, I hew very strictly to what I call my Airplane Red Wine policy which is that I always drink lots of red wine on airplanes. Bring. This. Shit. ON.
And then I get to baggage claim, and who’s there but Jeremy Piven, with his fedora cocked at a perfect Rene/Lomax 30-degree angle. The kids and the 50-year-olds are all right.