It’s not even 2012 yet, but society’s already got the end of the world on the brain: Harold Camping has built a cottage industry out of incorrectly predicting Armageddon, popular television show The Walking Dead scans more like a primer on how to prepare for a zombie apocalypse than a credible drama featuring “characters” “doing or saying compelling things,” and that new Rapture album is really good. In Pawnee, the remaining members of the Reasonablists cult — that name is kind of genius — who ran the town in the seventies predict every few years that their deity Zorp is coming to free humans from their physical bonds, and hold a vigil in the park to play flutes and wait for Zorp the Surveyor to come melt their faces to use for fuel with his volcano mouth. Hail Zorp!
And in the end, of course, there is no Apawneecalypse, but circle your calendars for May 19 — oops, park’s booked, make that May 20. Until then: Repent, or just work on that grilled-cheese technique.