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false alarms

Don't Panic, R. Kelly's Soula Coaster Will Be Released Next Year

Earlier today, to the delight of almost everyone with a Twitter account and the ability to make "closet" puns, the magnificent cover and title for R. Kelly's upcoming autobiography were unleashed upon the Internet. Soula Coaster: The Diary of Me! Everyone pause right now and read it a couple more times, just to let the poetry sink in. It is perfect. But is it real? Soon after the glorious news hit, the Village Voice noticed that the title had been pulled from Amazon, and some further investigations raised the question of whether Soula Coaster: the Diary of Me would ever be released at all. (That National Emergency Test was not a test; it was an R. Kelly alert.) Well, everyone, you can rest easy: Kelly's publisher got in touch with the concerned citizens at VV, and they confirmed that while the book will not be out next week, as previously reported, it "is indeed still coming out and is slated for a spring 2012 release." A nation rejoices.