Celebrity Wife Swap Cast Is Insane

Actor Gary Busey arrives at the premiere of "Crazy Heart" in Beverly Hills, California on December 8, 2009. AFP PHOTO / GABRIEL BOUYS (Photo credit should read GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/Getty Images) Photo: Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images

Oh, hello, what have we here? Why, the completely snickerdoodle, banana-nana, cuckoo-clukoo, bonka-donka, ding-dong cast of ABC's Celebrity Wife Swap: Wackiest Celebrities Who Have Already Appeared on Reality Shows Now Drag Their Spouses Into It Edition. This winter, the following folks will swap partners for your televisual enjoyment, but, also, for the benefit of that graduate student in 2113 writing a thesis titled Cash, Money, Residuals: Flava Flav and the Commercialization of Domesticity in Early 21st-Century America. The participants are: Gary Busey and Reverend Ted Haggard, Growing Pains' Tracey Gold and Wilson Phillips's Carnie Wilson,  Flavor Flav and Dee Snider, and, slightly less derangedly, wrestler Mick Foley and underwear model Antonio Sabato Jr., and Niecy Nash and Family Ties' Tina Yothers. The sheer number of jokes to be made about these pairings are hugely overwhelming, so we will leave you to it, after observing that whichever executive paired the famously anorexic Gold with the famously stomach-stapled Wilson deserves a gold star for going straight to hell.