I Spy a Book Called How To Archer by Sterling Archer

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ISIS applicants are in luck. Master spy and motherlover Sterling Archer is revealing all his state secrets with a book called How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written. A few tips that will probably make the first page:

1. Buy a lot of black turtlenecks. More than that.

2. Make constant reference to Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone.”

3. Fantasize about moving to Whore Island.

If these are somehow not sufficient, you can buy the book Jan. 17 and speed-read it before the series returns on Jan. 19.