Let Jean-Ralphio Teach You How to Live Your Best Life

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It’s a little weird that Parks & Rec’s Jean-Ralphio (Ben Schwartz) isn’t on the cover of GQ’s every issue, considering the obvious fact that he is the number one role model for today’s gentleman. I guess an interview is okay for now, until the universe wises up and lets him be the male Oprah he was born to be.

GQ: It’s pouring rain, and you and your female companion(s) are confronted with an enormous puddle. How do you resolve the situation?Jean-Ralphio: In the above question, it was silly to put a ( ) around the ‘s’ in “companions.” There will never be just one female companion. If the honey is wearing a white shirt or form-fitting white jeans, I would say, “Hey baby, how fun would it be to jump in this puddle for a while?” If she’s wearing darker, less see-through clothes, I would take out my (now limited edition) Entertainment 720 puddle cover to protect her from the water.