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reboots

Lifetime Will Remake The Blue Lagoon

Do you not have enough beautiful, dewy teenagers with bushy eyebrows/sun-bleached mop tops/loincloths in your life? Do you have a "story of abandoned children who learn that rutting on the beach is an even more fun activity than swimming with sea turtles"–size hole in your heart? Good news! Lifetime plans to remake The Blue Lagoon, the romantic, very borderline soft-core porn 1980 sensation starring Brooke Shields and that guy best know for co-starring in the The Blue Lagoon (fine, his name is Christopher Atkins). A sequel, Return to to the Blue Lagoon, starring Milla Jovovich and that guy best known for co-starring in Charmed (fine, his name is Brian Krause), was made in 1991. The new version will be set in the present day and will begin shooting in February. This is quite the opportunity for young actresses eager to learn how to hide their breasts behind their long hair — just like a mermaid! Young actors should be advised to proceed with career caution.