Patton Oswalt shared his career philosophy on Jimmy Fallon last night: "The best way to be in this business as an actor is for the money and the anecdotes," he said. "I either want things to be awesome — like be in a movie like Young Adult or Ratatouille — or I want things to be insane disasters that I can tell stories about." Like the time Wesley Snipes flipped out on the set of Blade: Trinity. Or the time Matthew McConaughey was a bit underdressed. "At the table read for [Failure to Launch], Matthew McConaughey showed up to the table read in just bicycle shorts. I swear to God," Oswalt said. "And I thought his balls were going to come out the entire table read. I want that story!" We all want that story, Patton.