Lifetime Is Making an Ice-Skating Reality Show

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DECEMBER 15: US figure skaters Tonya Harding (L) and Nancy Kerrigan avoid each other during a training session 17 February in Hamar, Norway, during the Winter Olympics. Kerrigan was hit on the knee in January 1994 during the US Olympic Trials and it was later learned that Harding's ex-husband and bodyguard masterminded the attack in hopes of improving Harding's chances at the US Trials and the Olympics. (COLOR KEY: Harding has yellow) (Photo credit should read VINCENT AMALVY/AFP/Getty Images) Photo: VINCENT AMALVY/AFP/Getty Images

Lifetime is expanding its borderline-child-abuse empire from dancing to skating with a new series, Ice Moms, all about the cutthroat world of competitive ice skating, the network announced today. Ice Moms, set in Michigan, joins Dance Moms and the nigh Dance Moms: Miami in Lifetime's crown of sadness jewels, made from the compressed tears of little girls whose parents thought it was a good idea not only to send them into intensely competitive and emotionally fraught environments but also to televise that experience. Man, whoever's job it is to make reality shows about gymnasts is really asleep at the wheel.