It has been a full 36 hours since Blue Ivy Carter made her debut at Lenox Hill Hospital and there is much Internet insanity to address, but we would be remiss if we did not immediately alert you to the fact that Jay-Z wrote a song for his new daughter. Even better, Blue Ivy's melodic wails are on the song, as her first feature credit (really, the title is "Glory feat. B.I.C.," though Pharrell also sings on the track). And Jay spends most of the track dropping adorable lines like "A pinch of Hov / a whole glass of B" and "Mama said you danced for her / did you wiggle your hands for her?" It is too much! It is so much. And we haven't even mentioned the bit about how Blue was "made in Paris," or the revelation that Beyoncé had a previously unreported miscarriage, according to the second verse. The song is streaming over at Jay's Life + Times, so go, don't wait. It's really very sweet.
But while we are on the subject of Blue Ivy, it seems as good a time as any to address some of the more colorful post-birth rumors and news stories. That got a little cray, did it not? There was the poor dad who couldn't get into the hospital to see his preemie twins, because the sixth floor was on lockdown. Then there's the Boston events company named Blue Ivy, which has already taken to referencing Babyoncé in its Facebook advertising. And of course, there were the many, totally insane name conspiracy theories. To recap:
- Some people thought Blu Cantrell might be involved. She's not. (Her update: "For the last time: I had NOTHING to do with the naming of Jay-Z's child. Is that plain enough for all of you?")
- Others suggested (jokingly) that Ivy might stand for the roman numeral IV, and therefore that Jay had named his child Blueprint 4. (No confirmation, though Hov probably would have credited her as BPIV if this were the intended reading, we assume. Four is also Bey and Jay's lucky number: They got married on April 4, and Beyoncé's recent album was titled 4.)
- Finally, some people are convinced that Ivy stands for "Illuminati's Very Youngest" and that Blue means "Born. Living. Under. Evil." You can look at Facebook photos of some of those people here.
And to take us out, here is noted Beyoncé expert Kevin Simmons (of "The Skorpion Show") on Bey numerology and the various conspiracy theories. He doesn't buy them.