The Ten Craziest Sentences From This Profile of SNL Alum Victoria Jackson

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In chronological order as they appear in the Miami New Times.

“Marlene was convinced her daughter could avoid schizophrenia only if she became an extreme extrovert.”

“At the Playboy mansion, Victoria stood on her head and recited poetry while half-naked Bunnies looked at her quizzically.”

“There she lost her virginity to the fire-eater.”*

“‘If I don’t marry him, God will say, ‘She’s a slut.””

“When Victoria left audiocassette box sets of the Bible in each [SNL] castmate’s mail slot for Christmas, they were angrily returned.”

“One year later, [Victoria’s husband] used a shotgun to obliterate a pit bull that was attacking his partner.”

“‘It’s OK to be a liberal and be fat,’ she complains.”

“Started in 2007 by ‘two guys in their trailer whispering that they respected Bush,’ Victoria says, it’s something like a support group for conservatives who fear being blacklisted for their beliefs.”

“‘I would run for office,’ she says casually.”

“Later she says, ‘I feel like I’m the only person who has reason, common sense, and sanity.’”

* My favorite.