The Seriously, We 100% Absolutely Aren’t Coordinating With Stephen, We Promise Super PAC has a new ad, and it brings back all kinds of poignant memories from those halcyon days when Herman Cain was still in the race. Most notably, his terrifying ad-closing smile. It looked like he wanted to make a pizza and sprinkle us on top as the delicious topping. And then eat us.
Here’s the accompanying press release:
Dear Super PAC Super People, Hey, Jon here. I’m really settling into this Super PAC thing. I even have my name on my office door now. It’s just on a Post-It, but I used a calligraphy pen, so it looks classy. As the press release below explains, The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC made another ad today. It honestly wasn’t that hard – you just click the “campaign commercial” button in iMovie. Sincerely, Jon StewartPresident For Life For NowThe Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC
FOR LICKETY-SPLIT RELEASE The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC Releases New Ad Urging Voters To Support Stephen Colbert, Who Is Not RunningTELEVISION, USA – The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC released a new television commercial today in South Carolina, in advance of the upcoming underfunded GOP Primary. The ad, entitled “Not Abel,” shows support for Stephen Colbert’s possible candidacy by offering voters a way to show support for Stephen Colbert’s possible candidacy. “Tragic new reports show that South Carolinians can sometimes go for several minutes at a stretch without seeing a single political ad,” said Jon Stewart, President For Life For Now of The Definitely Not Coordinating with Stephen Colbert Super PAC.” Even more tragically, we discovered that one visionary leader wasn’t having his voice heard: Stephen Colbert. Now I can proudly say: He’s still not having his voice heard, because we do not coordinate with any candidate or campaign.” The spot begins running today as a massive, multi-dozen-dollar ad buy in South Carolina. Snooty types who love to mention how they never watch television can view the ad here. The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC, nèe Colbert Super PAC, is officially known as Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, but is secretly hoping it will get a cool nickname like “Buzzsaw” or “Snakes.”### For Press Inquiries Contact:Alberto RèalnamèCommunications DirectorThe Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PACalberto.firstname.lastname@example.org