David Edelstein Live-Blogs the 2012 Oscars

As we go forward (you can read my Oscars preamble here), let me quote some of the predictions of the matchless comedy writer Nell Scovell (an old classmate and a cutie), who has written her share of patter over the years. She thinks Billy Crystal will appear in a baseball uniform and a maid’s outfit. Also: “Crystal will make a joke about a film that dealt with issues of black and white… but he’ll mean The Artist not The Help.” She has his number, alas. As I write this, a woman on the red carpet is asking Emma Stone which leading man was more charming, Ryan Gosling or the guy playing the new Spider-Man. What do you think she said? Right. I worry that that moment will be emblematic. Has this Oscar ceremony already happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? I kind don't care who wins. I just offer up a prayer: Please, Gods of Oscar, let us be surprised. And now, let's watch together, shall we? (And also on Vulture, check out our red carpet gallery and the Fug Girls' red carpet live blog.)