It’s fitting that Delocated has a new opening for Season 3. The opening, which features “Jon” cruising in a cigarette boat scarfing a hoagie with a bikini-clad babe, represents a shift in the story continuity we became accustomed to in Seasons 1 and 2.
Plot-wise, the one constant remains in the Season 3 premiere — the Mirminsky Crime Family still wants “Jon” dead, which is why he was put in the witness protection program in the first place. But little else has carried over from the first two seasons. Gone are Jon’s girlfriend Kim, his bodyguard and friend Rob, and his manipulative reality show producer, Mighty Joe Jon the Black Blond, a Mirminsky casualty.
That’s not to say the show feels like it’s missing something. Change is inevitable, and there are quite a few reasons to be excited for Season 3.
For one, we get to meet “Jon’s” new bodyguard, TB (Ali Farahnakian). TB is a Blackwater-type mercenary who wears Walter Sobchak-esque hunting glasses and shows little emotion. He had perhaps the best line of the episode when, during an introduction, he tells “Jon’s” lawyer in a straight deadpan, “The human pyramid at Abu Ghraib was my design.”
We also learn that Jon’s ex-wife “Susan” is dead, another Mirminsky casualty. “Susan” had a $5 million dollar life insurance policy that Jon is now the custodian of until their son David turns 18. (David, by the way, has now taken on the role as the show’s only voice of reason, adding a healthy dose of skepticism to his dad’s hairbrained schemes.) You can imagine how responsible “Jon” will be with $5 million at his disposal.
Delocated packed a ton of plot developments into the Season 3 premiere, titled “Lipples” — a term Jon invents after contemplating life and water ripples with his new life coach, The Glaze. Yep, “Jon” has a life coach. There are certainly a lot of places they can go with that one. It is The Glaze who suggests that “Jon” become his dead wife’s surrogate temporarily to help David cope with the loss of his mother. This leads to “Jon” dressing up in “Susan’s” clothes and later stripping down to her bra and underwear after drinking too much wine. Yes, “Jon” is still a complete idiot.
Lipples sets the course for what to expect for the rest of Season 3. To add an extra layer of protection, “Jon” gets involved with the Wang Cho Chinese Gang, the leader of which recognizes “Jon” as an easy mark. Wang Cho may have been behind the death of the head of the Mirminsky family, who died in prison. The Russian Mob-Chinese Gang war is underway, and “Jon” is caught in the middle. Told you there’s reason to be excited.
Phil Davidson lives in Vermont, but not because he’s in the witness protection program.