General Aladeen Gives the Academy an Ultimatum


Admiral General Shabazz Aladeen took some time out of his busy schedule of executions to discuss the Academy’s recent disapproval of his plan to attend the Oscars. “Normally I would be impressed by an act of cowardice by a faceless regime,” he said to the Today Show this morning. “But this is personal. I have issued them an ultimatum: They have until midday on Sunday to give me my tickets back. If they do not, they will see and face unforeseen and unimaginable consequences.” Who knows what Aladeen’s capable of? The only thing clear right now is that his buddy Sacha Baron Cohen sure knows how to drum up publicity.