Dear Michael Ian Black,
I have been in a relationship with my current computer for about nine months, and the spark is starting to go out of our relationship. We browse the same websites, and refresh every few minutes, but there’s something perfunctory about it. I can’t help but wish my computer would take me to a new site where I could read your advice on romantic questions in time for Valentine’s Day. Also, I would like to get a taste of your writing style before spending money on a copy of your book You’re Not Doing It Right. But my computer never takes me to a site that would solve these problems! What do I do???